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Instead of disciplining the bullies, a Free State high school told the parents of a suicidal Grade 12 pupil to consider obtaining a protection order against his fellow pupils who were bullying him.
So the parents did just that, and the case is set to be heard at the magistrates court in the small Free State town later this month.
Minutes of a meeting between the matric pupils’ parents and the chair of the Afrikaans high school’s disciplinary committee, show that the school undertook to “try and solve the [bullying] problem”.
But the boy’s father told City Press this week that his family tried without success to have disciplinary hearings instituted against the bullies – both black and white pupils – and teachers at the school who were making fun of his son.
His complaints to the Free State education department fell on deaf ears, he said.
The family decided to take action after Thabo* tried to commit suicide by overdosing on his mother’s hypertension medication in February, after battling bullying his entire school career.
Thabo, his father says, is targeted because he is “not masculine” and is forced to play rugby.
“They are indoctrinated that if you don’t play rugby you are a sissy boy or a moffie. Boys who don’t play rugby are made to stay behind with girls. This is intimidating since girls mock them, laugh at them and degrade them,” the father said.
“This is unfair because even homosexuals are also human beings and should not be made to feel less than human beings.”
The father claims other pupils mocked his son for his appearance and asked him what private parts were called in Sesotho, in front of giggling white girls.
He said he sent an email to the department detailing Thabo’s experiences, to no avail.
Last month, he said some white Grade 11 pupils told Thabo that “he can go commit suicide again, they don’t care”.
“There are pupils who make fun of my son and influence others to laugh at my son. They imitate his walk and laugh at him that his teeth are not in good alignment. My wife tried to confront these pupils and [their] parents, but my son stopped her. I guess he did not want further trouble,” he said.
According to the minutes of Wednesday’s meeting, Thabo’s parents “explained about the bullying of their child at school and the impact it has on his life”.
“The chairperson asked the family what they want the school to do. They indicated that they were under the impression that all the other parents of the children mentioned will be present,” the minutes read.
“It was explained that the school first [wanted] to know what it is the family wants the school to do. The family indicated that they ... felt that the school did not take them seriously. The school apologised for any inconvenience caused.”
The school then undertook to speak to the matric pupils about their behaviour, and to the representative council of learners and the pupils involved, which was agreed as a “way forward”. The chairperson said a disciplinary hearing would follow if there was no improvement.
But the parents said they had already tried to solve the problem before by complaining to the bullies’ parents.
“Some of the children even phoned the family and apologised for what they did. After all the apologies it just started again,” the minutes state.
Now at their wits’ end, Thabo’s parents decided to obtain a protection order.
Motheo district education director Mohotsi Mothebe said he was aware of the matter and had expected the principal to handle it properly.
“I’m not of the opinion that a protection order will stop pupils from bullying. My suggestion is to institute disciplinary hearings against those pupils and make an example of them.”
He said that suggesting the parents obtain a protection order seemed like a “dismissive strategy” from the school.
Mothebe said he advised Thabo’s parents not to remove him from the school because it would impact too much on his marks.
*Not his real name
