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Living forgiveness: Mananki Seipei on how Winnie helped her heal

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Mananki Seipei (62) found peace during a chance meeting at a Truth and Reconciliation Commission hearing.

Before then, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela was just “that woman” to Seipei, who she understood to have had a hand in the killing of her only son, 14-year-old activist Moeketsi “Stompie” Seipei.

On Friday, Seipei said she could not be a part of the conversation about Madikizela-Mandela and Stompie.

“My anger vanished the day I met Winnie,” Seipei said.

During a tea break at the hearing, Seipei was still in a stall when she heard a woman walk in and greet Stompie’s then three-year-old sister, Dineo. The woman asked her where her mother was.

At her RDP house in Tumahole township in Parys, Free State, which is now undergoing renovations, Seipei beams as she fondly speaks about her encounter with Madikizela-Mandela.

“Winnie looked at me as I took heavy steps out of the stall. She commented on how Stompie was a spitting image of me.

“I still can’t remember how I felt. Suddenly, there I was, sandwiched between Winnie and Zindzi [Mandela] in a long, warm hug.

“I was shocked more than anything. Winnie – a well-known freedom fighter – was right there. People always thought of Nelson Mandela when they saw her. There she was, embracing me. I was just a poor woman from Parys. I was a nobody compared to her.”

With Madikizela-Mandela still holding her hands, the two had a frank woman-to-woman talk.

“She looked me straight in the eyes and started talking. All this time I had been angry with Winnie based on reports that she had played a role in my son’s murder. I was angry at everyone, but meeting her somehow helped me ease up emotionally,” said Seipei.

“Maybe it was her voice that soothed my pain. She spoke softly and slowly, yet her words were profound and heartfelt. She pleaded for my forgiveness.

“I understood that she was also in pain. As a woman and a believer in forgiveness, I immediately understood her plea and assured her she was forgiven.”

While the dark cloud of Stompie’s death continues to hang over Madikizela-Mandela, even after her passing, all Seipei could think about this week was “just how painful death is”.

She said she would join everyone as they bade farewell to Madikizela-Mandela.

“She was a woman with a lot of charisma and I still respect her for facing me and asking for my family’s forgiveness.

“It is unfortunate that she passed on before she could meet Stompie’s younger sisters. That’s something I have always desired. I don’t care who says what. I will attend her funeral to pay my final respects.”

Moeketsi ‘Stompie’ Seipei

Stompie was murdered in Soweto on January 1 1989. His mother had grown accustomed to her son spending lots of time away from home. A fierce activist who celebrated his 12th birthday in jail, Stompie was expelled from school a year before he died.

Seipei said she was hurt that she never got to spend much time with her son. The last time she saw him alive was in December 1988 when he appeared in court on charges of public violence.

The family spent Christmas and New Year’s Day without him, and his mother thought he was somewhere around Parys with friends or fellow activists.

“Stompie led a group of young boys who stoned police cars and mobilised [people] to take part in campaigns like the rent boycott. He was in and out of jail, and I only realised something was wrong when he did not show up for his court appearance on January 12 1989.”

Seipei said her son probably knew he was going to die young.

“We were at home a few months before he died when he suddenly said, ‘I need to write to [apartheid-era president PW] Botha and ask him to let me meet [Nelson] Mandela. The thing is, my time on Earth is short. I think I’ll be dead by 15.’ The accuracy of that statement only dawned on me when I learnt of his death,” she said.

Two weeks after Stompie’s death, Seipei had to go through “piles of bodies” at a government mortuary in Diepkloof, Soweto, until she came across her son’s battered corpse.

“Although his face was disfigured, I could still see an old wound over his eyebrow. He got the wound when he was stabbed during a fight with a police officer’s son. His teeth protruded like those of a dog but I looked at him and still saw my son.

“I held his hand and it still looked like mine. The last thing I saw was the birthmark under his foot. [He was wearing] a woollen beanie and his size four shoes. That’s how I identified my son.”

She described her son as “one naughty boy”.

“Stompie wasn’t educated. He only got to Standard 2 (Grade 4) but I am not sure whether or not he hated school. However, I know he hated Afrikaans, and all of his time was dedicated to politics.

“He had big brains for his age and never ceased to amaze me with the amount of information he absorbed into his little mind. Stompie taught many of why apartheid was bad and told us to boycott rent.

“He was a brave child. One day when the police came to arrest him as he was getting dressed, a neighbour asked if he was scared. He said, ‘Not at all’. Meanwhile, there I was shaking at the sight of a police uniform but Stompie was so calm.”

She remembers her son as a bully who often got into trouble for beating up his peers.

“He never wanted to lose any money in zwipi (a coin-spinning gambling game) but at home he was a bubbly boy who loved food. We called him Stompie because he was short.”

Seipei, who survives on her pension grant, said a slew of government officials and prominent politicians had made empty promises to her. Many promised to fund the studies of her daughters Mathapelo (31) and Dineo (23), and build her a house. None of that has materialised.

“He was my first-born and only son. I can’t blame him for taking part in the struggle. Death is always painful but losing your only son is even worse.

“I can’t imagine where we would be if Stompie was still alive but I can only smile at the memories he left us.”

“Life goes on. What matters for me now is that we give Winnie a decent send-off without any controversy, especially involving my son’s name.”



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