#TrendingAwards2019: The Culture Vulture Award goes to ...

Phumlani S Langa
2019-12-20 14:55
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our resident culture vultures The Locnvillle brothers have been bestowed with this award for their out-of-place performances and appearances ~

Coming in very closely behind our winners are President Cyril Ramaphosa during the 2019 ANC election campaign and the queen of so many hearts Beyoncé Knowles. 

This was a highly contested category. Coming in hot on the heels of our winners are President Cyril Ramaphosa during the 2019 ANC election campaign. Shame, this guy was doing new-age dance moves, he used public transport – just a lot of things he actually knows nothing about.

Another runner-up is Beyoncé Knowles for her poorly compiled The Lion King: The Gift soundtrack. We know Afro beats, gqom and the yanos are hot on our continent right now, but we really didn’t need your take on it, Sisi. In fact, the Global Citizen performance, to the trained Beyoncé head, stands as the moment in which her music suffered a dip. Both her last albums, deep down inside you feel it too, are trash.

The winners of this prestigious award that recognises artists and individuals who will do anything to be down goes to none other than the Locnville brothers. These guys burst on to the scene and, among other things, referred to their sounds as using elements of rap.

Singing in tandem and off key is not rap! Then these guys – not The Soil or Msaki or Ringo, no, Locnville – were invited to perform at the evening gala for Mam’ Dr Esther Mahlangu where she received the first UNHCR Southern Africa NGO and Multi-Stakeholder Award in recognition of inclusivity and empowerment.

I’ll bet they had no idea who she was, but, because she’s the creative force she happens to be, they could snuggle up to that clout. They didn’t help things all that much for themselves when they agreed to be added to the line up of acts at this year’s Johannesburg Pride.

Come on fellas! And then Andrew and Brian Chaplin also graced the prestigious Valley of the Waves at Sun City for an Easter set. At least they don’t really mind where the money comes from, so long as they get it. I mean, their little Sun in My Pocket song, which was used on the Fifa 12 game soundtrack, was a long time ago. What else are they going to do but hunt for waves to surf. 

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