Quick on the draw, Melinda Ferguson Books has published no less that two e-books about SA in lockdown in the space of four weeks. We got an extract from Lockdown Letters of Uthando & Shenanigans by author Melusi Tshabalala in the second book, Lockdown Extended: Corona Chronicles, in which he shares love letters with his girlfriend
Lockdown Extended: Corona Chronicles
Melinda Ferguson Books
240 pages
R103 at kobo.com
Sentenced to lockdown in a time of the Covid-19 coronavirus, publisher Melinda Ferguson rounded up 30 South African writers to pen Lockdown Extended, a reflection of one of the most surreal times in South African history.
The book, available online in electronic format, includes writings of our most celebrated and awarded fiction and non-fiction authors, including Sisonke Msimang, Lebo Mashile, Fred Khumalo, Khaya Dlanga and Marianne Thamm.
Below is author, educator, speaker and entrepreneur Melusi Tshabalala’s contribution:
Lockdown Letters of Uthando & Shenanigans
Lockdown is tricky, frustratingly so. The trickiest bit is being isolated from the people we really enjoy spending time with. Of course, there is the negative impact on our earning potential, but that pales in comparison with being away from our people.
The thing is, people are social animals with biological, psychological and social systems that evolved to thrive in collaborative networks.
Studies show that isolated people are likely to develop a wide range of negative psychological symptoms, including insomnia, stress, anxiety, anger, irritability, emotional exhaustion, depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms.
As such, the effects of isolation need to be mitigated in order to manage the impact they can have on our health and mental stability.
I speak from first-hand experience as my girlfriend has to look after her mother during the lockdown, which means I have had to be alone during this unpleasant time.
In an attempt to stave off the effects of isolation while apart, we decided to keep things interesting by writing each other proper love letters. The letters are sent via WhatsApp, but are written in full words and sentences.I was pleasantly surprised when my millennial lover agreed to full words and sentences.
My girlfriend also decided that we should send each other only one letter a day because, if these were letters sent through a courier service (never a post office), we wouldn’t be able to send many back and forth in one day. It was a good decision because it added a lot to keeping the experience authentic. This is one of those love letters:
Loverboy:
Dear Sibongile, my buttercup, Oh, how I miss thee. My world feels barren without your laughter. Even the stars seem to have dimmed. Oh, my darling…
Ok, f**k this. Let’s start again, but we decolonise romance this time.
Hawu, Sibongile, ngwana...
My bhebeza, thambo lami leKentucky, my size, the dangalazmatic, my dunusing thing…
I hope all is good and proper in your world, without me.
Yoh! It’s rough for me here without you. Kuyanyiwa. 21 days, babe. A whole 21. And I am going to go through it alone. On top of that, we can’t even buy booze. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing because I’d get drunk and drive over to you.
Now that would be bad in many ways – I’d be drinking and driving, I’d be breaking lockdown laws and I would have stolen a neighbour’s car, as mine is currently at the workshop. Cabanga.
Next thing, I [would] have been arrested and [put] in a cell with diseased people. Actually, when you get arrested during this time of social distancing, what happens? I’ve been in holding cells before and I’ve gotta tell you, it can get pretty cramped. F**k, I’d sue them if they arrested me and I ended up catching Covidsto in custody. I’d sue everybody. Kunganyiwa, kusimbakale.
Anyway, speaking of everybody, I miss your body. And the rest of you, of course, but ya … that body.Take care.
- Ngwana – Babe
- Mabhebeza – Babe
- Thambo lami leKentucky – From Mbongeni Ngema’s Stimela saseZola. Directly translated, it means “my KFC bone”, meaning something I love very much.
- The dangalazmatic – To dangalaza is to spread-eagle. Add the “matic” and you get the gist.
- My dunusing thing – To dunusa is to bend over.
- Kuyanyiwa – Directly translated, it means “there is pooping”, but figuratively it means “things are bad”.
- Kunganyiwa – Things would get bad.
- Kusimbakale – This is a nonsensical word, meaning everything would turn to sh*t.