Sextuplets is so bad, you have to see it to believe it

2019-08-30 15:03

Available on Netflix SA
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Why did I watch Marlon Wayans’ new film folly Sextuplets? Because I knew it was going to be bad, but I was curious to know just how bad it would be.

And oh, dear reader, it did not let me down! Where do I begin? Wayans, who’s starred in such Oscar winners as Fifty Shades of Black, White Chicks and Naked (which boasts an almost impossible rating of 0% on Rotten Tomatoes) is back, times SIX.

In Sextuplets he plays multiple characters – à la Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor – but with none of the originality.

The plot sees father-to-be Alan set out to find his estranged siblings after he finds out he was born a sextuplet.

This starts out with goofy, overweight brother Russell, who I mention as overweight because that’s pretty much his running goof the entire film – being fat. (Yes, this the level of movie we’re talking about, people). Then there’s stripper sister Dawn, straight out of prison and a living, walking hood rat stereotype. Sigh.

Next we meet gold-toothed 70s pimp Ethan. A 70s pimp character in 2019? You read that right.

At one point he meets one of Alan’s white corporate colleagues and says “you smell like that Republican money” while sniffing him.

Then there’s Baby Pete who suffers from a disease that stunted his growth as a child. It’s basically an opportunity for Wayans to play someone small again, like he did in The Little Man. BECAUSE WE NEEDED THAT AGAIN, MARLON.

Finally, there’s Jaspar, a black man with ginger hair. Yes, they do call him a jigger at one point. Don’t @ me. The plot is predictable and the jokes are lower than lowbrow. In fact, they’re so lowbrow you’ll find yourself marvelling that such a thing even exists.

Why did Netflix make this? Who, besides Wayans and director Michael Tiddes, thought this was a good idea? I cannot answer this, dear reader. I may never be able to. 

Grethe Kemp
Trending co-editor
City Press
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April 5 2020