Listen to the women who have experienced gender-based violence

The suffocating feeling of being on roller coasters, that funny stomach-drop when a plane lands or takes off, basically anything that creates motion sickness are things I avoid as much as I can.

The mixed signals my body sends to itself create an unbearable uneasiness that has forced me to avoid those things as far as possible.

The last couple of weeks violent incidents have popped up on my social media – more than before – particularly this week when gqom artist Babes Wodumo went live on her Instagram account while being physically assaulted by her partner and manager, Mampintsha.

I opened my eyes just after six in the morning to various videos and links of Babes being attacked by Mampintsha.

I am incredibly proud of her for being brave enough to show people the most painful and humiliating moments of their life.

And now she’s open to public scrutiny – and there are many people who will side with any and everyone but a woman.

Women who experience gender-based violence have a higher prevalence of anxiety, mental health disorders and other dysfunctions.

Although some make it out alive, a very big part of them dies.

They embark on a life that is completely unnatural – mourning for themselves while still alive.

When it comes to women, the public demands evidence before they believe her. A man, however, can just be taken at his word.

What is our value system in terms of creating an equally safe environment for all?

We’re at the point where a word such as ubuntu is utter bullsh*t.

Our virtues as people are limited to self-gain and whoever holds the power – in the case of gender-based violence the man.

The saying “what if it was your mother, sister, or daughter” shows just how dysfunctional we are.

We not only don’t look out for one another as neighbours, we also fail within our homes. We live in a society where there are no consequences for abuse.

Women who stay in abusive relationships do so because they fear for their lives and the lives of those around them.

They stay because should they decide to go back the power would have shifted even more to the side of the dominant person.

They stay waiting for the day that they will have enough strength not to go back.

They stay because sometimes death is inevitable and kinder than remaining in a world that continues to beat you down and remind you that your existence is of no value.

Before you jump on the Twitter bandwagon, listen to the women who have experienced gender-based violence.