Patriarchal schools need to evolve

It is that time of year again when some of the best schools in the country are concluding admission processes, and single mothers, who hope to secure a space for their youngsters, will once again be let down gently with a polite “we regret to inform you” email.

This is the reality of mothers who are raising children alone, with the help of family or with their same-sex partners.

Every day black women navigate and negotiate spaces in which their presence is unwanted and negated.

Their existence and experiences are invalidated in a world made up of patriarchal societies, norms and rules that are woven together by a thread of misogyny and sexism, guaranteeing a place and a voice as the birthright of a few.

The schooling system is another example of how black women are offered few spaces where they can exist without multiple forms of societal violence being meted out against them through discrimination, exclusion and subjugation.

In post-apartheid South Africa women and children are still not a priority when it comes to substantive transformation, justice, equality and equity.

Institutions and public spaces continue to treat women as beings devoid of emotional intelligence and agency.

This treatment of women plays out in intimate relationships, the workplace, in courtrooms, in public and in the schooling system.

It is single mothers in particular who bear the brunt of the ugly forms of discrimination used against them and their children in the schooling system, which continues to impose discriminatory and outdated heteronormative standards in their application processes, celebrations and activities, thus excluding and “othering” children whose family composition does not adhere to the established societal standards.

Most schools insist that applications need to be accompanied by the signatures and identity documents of both parents and, most recently, an unabridged birth certificate.

Failing to comply with this requirement means the application will not be considered.

If mothers are unable to supply the details of the absent father, they are required to submit an affidavit stating the father is not present in the child’s life.

This places an emotional burden and humiliation on the parent.

During the course of the year, children are sent home with letters about Mother’s Day teas and father-and-son activities that further discriminate against other children without one or both parents, or children whose household differs from the traditional nuclear, heterosexual family set-up.

This despite the fact that the majority of children do not grow up in households with both biological parents.

A 2015 Stats SA Mbalo Brief shows there were just over 5 million children aged zero to four years in 2012, representing about 10% of the country’s population.

Only 36.4% of these children lived with both biological parents, 42.5% lived with their biological mother only, 2% lived with their biological father only and 18.7% did not live with either biological parent.

In terms of race, 86.5% of white children and 77.5% Indian/Asian children lived with both biological parents, while 53.5% of coloured children and only 31% of black children lived with both biological parents.

In addition 45.6% of black children lived with their biological mother, while 21% did not live with either of their biological parents.

Although the same stringent application processes apply to single fathers, close to 50% of children living in single-parent homes live with their mothers.

By virtue of this, black children and their mothers are the ones who are on the receiving end of the violent system and its rules that refuse to recognise South African realities and change to make lives more bearable for those who are already going through a lot just to make ends meet.

The rules and regulations seem to continue to privilege the white family structure as the “ideal”. Just because the majority of white children live with both biological parents does not mean this is the norm.

As parents and guardians we ought to refuse to be complicit in a system that unashamedly seeks to exclude, discriminate against and other the children of single parents.

In a time when the vast majority of children are from single-parent households and raised mostly by single mothers, why are these archaic requirements part and parcel of a vetting process that seeks to gauge the suitability of a child to attend a school?

Enshrined in the Constitution is every child’s right to shelter, healthcare and education.

Chapter 9 institutions exist to safeguard these rights and yet the state and private institutions, such as schools, have been left unchecked and allowed to infringe on the rights of many pupils and parents.

While processes and procedures exist to safeguard the efficient running of schools and the safety of pupils, none can substantiate the blatant disregard for the diversity of the population and its family units.

How constitutional is it for a school to deny a pupil the opportunity for consideration based on the pupil’s family environment?

Why do we continue to perpetuate and be complicit in a cycle of discrimination against members of society who are already vulnerable to multiple forms of societal, systemic and structural forms of violence?

A child’s right to education is an absolute right. No child should be excluded on the basis of being brought up by one parent only.

Schools should mirror society and realise that children come from different families with different social and economic circumstances.

Some have a mum and dad, others have no parents, while some have only one parent and others have two mums or two dads. All this is normal.

The society and institutions need to evolve, accept this and act accordingly.

Fatyela is employed by the Nelson Mandela University at the Centre for Community Technologies and is a student