Curious Kids: Why can't we do what we like?

In partnership with The Conversation, #Trending brings you Curious Kids, a series where we ask experts to answer questions from kids.

Why can’t we do whatever we want? – Flynn, aged 6

Jade Sheen, Associate Professor, School of Psychology, Deakin University

“Thanks, Flynn. That’s a really good question. When you are younger you can feel like all the rules around you are unfair. You may also feel like you don’t get much say in things. Doing whatever you want seems like a great idea!

You might wonder, what is the point of all these boring rules? Usually, Flynn, rules help us with two things: learning and staying safe.

Let’s think about learning. When you are six years old, you are learning new things every day. If you think back to only a year ago you will realise how much you have changed. Many of those annoying rules that you worry about are there to help you to focus on learning and playing and having fun.

Without rules, you would have a lot of decisions to make every day. Too many decisions would get in the way of your learning and make you feel overloaded.

Being in charge of a lot of decisions can sometimes be quite stressful and can sometimes make people feel worried and anxious. This is why it’s important to allow kids to make some decisions – but not all of them.

You may not know this yet, but the rules will also change as you get older. Think about the differences between now and when you were a toddler.

At six, you probably have a later bedtime, are allowed to watch more TV and do different things and have a lot more of your own friends.

This is because it is important to encourage children to take on more decisions as they get older.

Think of it like a ladder. You might not be at the top right now, but each new thing you learn takes you a step closer and means your parents can relax the rules a little.

Finally, I should say that the rules don’t go away completely even when you are a grown up. Grown-ups still have to work and pay bills and follow the rules. Even we can’t do whatever we want!”

TALK TO US

Hello, curious kids! Have you got a question you’d like an expert to answer? Ask an adult to send your question to africa-curiouskids@theconversation.com. Please tell us your name, age, and which city you live in. We won’t be able to answer every question but we will do our best

. To read the rest of Sheen’s answer, go to theconversation.com