SA is not for sale, it’s sold already

Cyril Ramaphosa says the ANC is not for sale. Yes, uncle, that’s what you say when it’s already been sold. And it’s not as if you didn’t see the “for sale” sign going up. Hell, the ANC was so for sale I’m amazed there wasn’t an Easter special on takealot.com: buy two Cabinet ministers and get a parastatal for free.

The deputy president went full Trump on us and said that white control of business must end. Yup, we agree, but from the Kermit of Lonmin, that’s hilarious. It’s like Kanye West giving humility classes. Cyril must have very confusing WhatsApp groups: “These miners are crazy, and white monopoly capitalism must fall. See you at the club for golf.”

The important lesson here is that now we know why our president is laughing all the time. He’s done a Leon Schuster on an entire country, minus the blackface and hack jokes.